An instant hits you quickly, shaking aptitude to mash.
And just like Erni Gil, I'm in the background of the flash.
You battle yearning, still. My figure, tauntingly robust,
Is blinking through illusion. Your condition is nonplussed.
A magnet. Planet. Magnate. Or whatever I've become
Detracts you from the mission of believing that I'm dumb.
The power shown by present has ability to send
A rash, demented, badness-fashioned fabulist an end.
Perhaps I wasn't quite the fool that history portrayed.
Perhaps your love of shunning flubbed what memory displayed.
My remnant has transcended prior attitude you clutched.
You want me once again, but I'm repining that we touched.
Great finish :-)
ReplyDeleteAdore the play of sound effects with "A magnet. Planet. Magnate." Such wonderfully compressed drama packs a punch. And the final persona image of the remnant repining is a glorious finale!
ReplyDeleteLove your wordplay as usual and a funny ending, makes me think of lyrics from an old BTO song - any love is good love so I took what I could get ;-)
ReplyDeleteI'm with RCH in the enjoyment of your wordplay. Love "I'm in the background of the flash." And that last stanza packs a punch!
ReplyDeleteSome good rhymes here! I particularly like robust and nonplussed.:)
ReplyDeleteI loved the last couplet here---and what a great write!
ReplyDeleteOH I SO LOVE THIS! A great "eat-your-heart-out" kinda poem!!
ReplyDeleteJack, I'm so glad you got my message and now I can comment. I've come here many times and wanted to say something... Now I can! I loved this... it brought back some powerful memories and feelings of my own which is what good art should do. My favorite lines... "Perhaps I wasn't quite the fool that history portrayed./Perhaps your love of shunning flubbed what memory displayed."
ReplyDeleteDang cool write. Love how you used "nonplussed" and "fabulist" in the piece. Good work.
ReplyDeleteYour poem is original and quite romantic. Love your choice of words and how you play with them...:)
ReplyDeleteAwesome write! Great showing of attitude!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed that. I too rhyme when I should be sleeping. :)
ReplyDelete