20120921

Becoming a Cloud Aggressed

Rain plummets in writhing veils
Like cast-off molt of maturing wraiths.

Continual flood assails,
Eroding base of enduring faiths.

Becoming a cloud aggressed
To block the sun or to fog a street.

Now forehead is non-repressed,
Deluging cruelly in hydro-feat.

My brow and my crown emit
Torrential blasting on folks below,

On targets who must remit
Belief that brume of their doom will slow.

A darkening arcus edge,
My aura, subjugates via shelf,

Portraying a final pledge:
Dissolve the matter beyond myself.



13 comments:

  1. This is a really good one, all these solid walls of sound crashing into each other.

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  2. Isn't that a line from Bennie and the Jets? I like the different sound and style here, like the great opening stanza and the line "eroding base of enduring faiths." An interesting take on self-improvement, that's for sure.

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  3. "Dissolve the matter beyond myself"

    Great line!

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  4. Rain is falling - this poem is a tumultuous as a thunder storm.

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  5. Another good one Jack, great flow and the rhymes are perfect, also a cool premise.

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  6. Hard to withstand the continual assault of flood water in whatever form! Enjoyed your write.

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  7. Love a good rain, fine work Jack

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  8. I love your title, and the couplets are really tight, with impeccable rhymes and words to wrap the tongue around. Impressive work.

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  9. familiar force with nicely wrought alternating rhymes...almost mimicking the wrath of the elements.its great to return to your posts.my torrid schedule has kept me away from a lot over the past few weeks.

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  10. Love those writhing veils! I was in a rainy mood today too. Really enjoyed this :-)

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  11. Impressive rhymes and message, as always. :)

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  12. You are the master of the couplet. Perfect in rhyme and meter every time. This piece feels so repressed, held back. It feels as if the voice is making great effort at control. Very well done.

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