20120916

Emphasis

Your soul was a dummy, a sacrifice kicked
By my pendulous boot, just a victim I picked
To be looted--disputed--so I could depict
It as thoroughly moot, then malign its repute.

My brutal behavior descended from lead
You presented when craving appraisal.  This need
Named appraiser a savior for choosing to cede
But a falsified rave, and this trick you forgave.

I grew predilection for killing the good
That you offered to me.  No exception withstood
The confounding degree animosity could
Birth occasion to see magnanimity flee.

When I and the others maneuvered conceit
To remodel your dealings, your willing receipt
Of deceit did reveal what disdain I'll excrete
On whom lets me congeal the advancement of real.



11 comments:

  1. Love the internal rhymes in this poem! I am not a fan of either 'conceit' or 'deceit' but love the 'advancement of real.' Smiles.

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  2. Its opens with a smiling kick in the jaw, but I'm afraid I've lost the thread by the end.

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  3. You seem to have nailed the mindset of the narrator, who is all too believable. Love the meter and rhyming of your poetry.

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  4. I am ever-amazed, Jack, by your ability to tell of horror and evil in a fashion that is lyrical, beautiful.

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  5. "My brutal behavior descended from lead
    You presented when craving appraisal."

    I used to crave appraisal, approval, some sort of validation from others and your poem reflects perfectly why it's a mistaken approach to any type of relationship. This was like a kick to the gut, hearing the side of a less than perfect human being with a dark take... well done.

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  6. Wow Jack this is quite a verbal onslaught, ingenious with the rhythm and rhyme, indeed it's so sublime.

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  7. I am with Kim--such lyrical writing somehow underlying the horror increases it emphasis---great write!

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  8. Quite a yummy word salad, as usual. Love the 'advancement of real'. :)

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  9. such a fluidic flow to this Jack well put together, thanks for sharing

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  10. I always count on you for gritty goodness.

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