20121029

Internal

I.

They'll wrest from me the rest of me,
Arrest the restful breath in me.
Obsessed with me, they're testing me,
Embedding extra mess in me.

They clawed aplomb to alter me,
Installing fault.  Integrity
Has faltered. Lost stability
Is costing clear validity.

My super-sheer solidity
Met supershear stupidity.
The fracture cracked ability
To fend against conspiracy.

Tectonic talk, geology,
I'll bond with creature imagery
To fitly feature quandary
That flaunts a haunting constancy.

II.

The wildebeest I will to be
Would kill to see menagerie
Of killer beasts, then, happily,
Impale a captive family.

Instead, there's no captivity,
No gloating captor's revelry.
Just bacon weave betraying me,
A welcome mat for slaying me.



18 comments:

  1. This one doesn't even need music to go with.

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    1. Agreed. I read it once, then more than twice, just because I liked the sound of it.

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  2. I'll help you kill the wildebeast ;-)

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  3. Oh wow...those first two lines are so musical (a mixture of breath and energy).

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  4. I would love to hear you read this one! So fun. :)

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  5. This work has a sort of relentless momentum to it.

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  6. Great wordplay and rhythm - a wonderful style of poetry, making the words sing.

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  7. like the musicality and the playfulness

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  8. The first section is truly inspired, now I've got some Bacon to weave ;)

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  9. i love your rhythmic and smooth word play.

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  10. What a wonderful read you have provided for us this week, Jack! If I had to choose a favorite stanza it would be the third!

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  11. I would love to hear this read as well... there is a definite musicality that is intriguing. The first line hooked me and took me on a great ride!

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  12. Good gracious! Those first two lines are so darn clever, and you keep up the momentum all the way to the end. Excellent piece.

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  13. what a complete poem! ur rhymes are always brilliant.but this one attains a fantastic fullness which makes it so great.

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  14. This is brilliant, really enjoyed reading it out loud, just to feel the words dance on my tongue--those first few lines were especially wonderful. :-)

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  15. This works beautifully for me. Ticks all the boxes that matter.

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  16. Jack, you are masterful. Your diction is impeccable, the cadence here, ideal. The message is provocative and far-too true for many. Brilliant bit of writing.

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  17. Well I've said it before and you keep laying it down, like a carnival ride building momentum whirling and twirling when you see it ending the more ride you want. Great job Jack!

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