20121021

You Should Be Insulted

He will triple the stress like a rabid Molossus
By thrashing your balance.  Depression colossus
Can chomp on carotid of calm till necrotic
Remains turn to rotting--he'll leave you neurotic.

You're an idiot waiting for masterful drainer
To empty your spirit then taint the container.
The robber is scheming deletion of honor.
Esteem as a positive thing is a goner.

You'll despise your own being for being enveloped
By story of "physics uniquely developed
To doggedly bother till man has to settle."
A guy has combined you with indolent fettle.

You are faint consolation, the state of surrender--
Companion is dreading what effort will render.
Inertia permitted his body to find you.
It's stupid to let his passivity bind you.



14 comments:

  1. No one rhymes like you, Jack :-)

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  2. The tone is strangely friendly....I heard this as advice from one friend to another about a bad dude (a "balance thrasher," if you will).

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  3. This work has a really sense of an unstoppable juggernaut - a relentless progression.

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  4. Great flow and rhyming Jack plus some really cool phrases.

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  5. dang, nice intensity sir...i kinda got that juggernaut feel as well...the inertia of the inevitable...really like this line too...Esteem as a positive thing is a goner.

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  6. only a true master of prosody could write that first line.your poems should become part of prosodic textbooks.brilliant as ever.

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  7. Beautiful.. great rhyme ..

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  8. Really enjoyed reading this. The rhyme is wonderful as backdrop for such wise advice. Love your style.

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  9. You are a master of this form, your rhythm and meter and rhyming are impeccable - that is no small skill. I enjoyed this.

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  10. Once again a word from a master of poetic flow, enjoyed it.

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  11. I like your obvious enjoyment of words.

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  12. You compliment me on my rhymes then I come over here to see: Molossus/ colossus, necrotic/neurotic... Creeping away, back to my simple drawing board.

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  13. Ah, I agree one should not let someone else's passivity bind one. Another effective write, Jack! Always great to see you in Poetry Jam.

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  14. Wow. I have been there (and am not too excited to admit that) but could never have described it so intricately yet succinctly. Great poem! :)

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